I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
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is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
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There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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