It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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