im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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