i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize