he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize