Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
