So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
