He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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