I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
