No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
