But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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