You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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