I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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