there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
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I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
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I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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