Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
love makes seman taste better
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
