yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
