Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
