some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
