My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
