thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
