This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
