Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
