She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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