Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
