You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
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she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I have post one night stand depression
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