you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
