i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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