So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
