worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Even my vagina gasped.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
