I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
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As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
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I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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