I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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