Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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