She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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