Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
