I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
