We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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