Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
