My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
