im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
