Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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