omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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