lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
