Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
