i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize