Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
