R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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