I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
