Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
