Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
