I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
