her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
