it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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