I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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