Have you finally orgasmed yet?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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