She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
her vagine was all disorganized.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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