Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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