Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
