Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
