My boss' voice literally gives me gas
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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