somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
