so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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